Gur Zak, Petrarch's Humanism and the Care of the Self (Cambridge, 2010), Intro., pp. 1-4:
. . . here was the palace of
Evander, there the shrine of Carmentis, here the cave of Cacus, there the
nursing she-wolf and the fig tree of Rumina with the more apt surname of Romulus.
Starting thus with the description of the mythical origins of
the city, Petrarch then continues his journey in space and time, advancing
mostly linearly through the ages of Roman history, from these mythical
origins through the glory of the Empire and early Christianity to the time
of Constantine. He then concludes this short chronicle, lamenting not
only that what is left from the glory of Rome is mere ruins but also that
the significance of the ruins is mostly forgotten: “For today who are more
ignorant about Roman affairs than the Roman citizens?” Ignorance,
he adds, that is in turn complemented by the “flight and exile” (fugam
exiliumque) of the many virtues that flourished in bygone times.
Promising to return to this complaint at another time, Petrarch then
brings the discussion back to himself and invites Giovanni to recall how
they used to stop at the baths of Diocletian, weary of the long excursion,
and to enjoy there the “healthy air, the unimpeded view, silence and
desired solitude.” Alone at the baths, the noises of the outside world
ceased to bother them—“we did not discuss business at all, nor household
problems nor public affairs”—and with the “fragments of the ruins”
(ruinarum fragmenta) still in front of their eyes they turned their gaze
to higher matters, discussing history and moral philosophy, the arts and
their authors and principles. . . .
Mutata sunt omnia—everything is changed—Petrarch declares, including his own talent, experience, and mood. The words he spoke at that
perfect moment of solitude are therefore forever lost: time passed, leading him away from the moment of presence he enjoyed at the baths, and
has taken with it also the words he used at that time. The description
of the ruins of Rome thus becomes a metaphor of Petrarch’s own self:
like the glorious city, he himself is subjected to the ravages of time, constantly changing, leaving behind only fragments—scattered memories
and words retained in the minds of the two interlocutors that cannot, as
he insists, invoke the past in full. The subjection to the passage of time,
Petrarch therefore implies, is a subjection to a constant sense of absence
and loss.
But time is not the only cause of the poet’s sense of fragmentation and
loss. Society has a part in this experience as well: it was the perfect solitude of the baths, detached from the cares of the world, that allowed him
to step, as it were, out of time, and freely reflect on higher matters, and
it is the “din of business matters” (rerum fragor) that is now impeding his
spirit from retrieving the state of mind he then enjoyed. The diachronic
fragmentation is thus accompanied in the letter by the synchronic dismemberment imposed by society. As Petrarch declares near the end of
the letter, it is only in solitude that he “belongs to himself” (Ibi enim, non
alibi, meus sum).
The reference to solitude as the one state in which Petrarch can feel
that he fully belongs to himself suggests that the sense of fragmentation
and flux in the letter is accompanied by a feeling of exile. Just as Rome
is exiled from her own golden age—the time to which the ruins allude—and to which she might return if she would only begin to “know herself,”
so Petrarch is exiled from the state of wholeness that he might regain
by returning to solitude. The experiences of exile and fragmentation, as
this letter exhibits, are intrinsically intertwined in Petrarch’s mind: it is the loss of a mythical state of presence and bliss, according to him, that
is responsible for his current sense of disintegration and flux.
Significantly, for Petrarch the return to the safe haven of solitude, to
himself, is characterized above all by writing—his ability to write what he
truly wishes: “only there and not elsewhere I belong to myself. There lies
my pen which at present rebels everywhere I go and refuses my orders,
because I am preoccupied with burdensome matters. Thus, while it is
constantly busy when I have plenty of leisure, it prefers to have leisure
when I have much to do, and almost like a wicked and insolent servant,
it seems to convert the fervor of the master into its own desire for rest.” His return from exile to himself, Petrarch therefore implies here, is above
all a return to his vocation as a writer